Saturday, September 13th

Saturday, September 13th 

Corkscrew 

A Discovery of Witches pages 80-115

I have just gone to the theater by myself to watch Downtown Abbey: The Grand Finale even though I have never watched a single episode of Downton Abbey in my life and historical period dramas are sooooo not my thing. But one of the ways I’ve been handling my daughter’s departure is to go see whatever is in the theater to fill up some time on Saturday afternoon and when I say whatever is in the theater, I really mean whatever is in the theater. I laughed my way through The Naked Gun, missed a large portion of The Fantastic Four: First Steps thanks to an ill-timed and completely unplanned nap (thank you, perimenopause), and, though I cringe to admit it, actually paid money to see The Bad Guys 2. 

Saturdays have been the toughest day for me because it was always the day Delaney and I would spend together. We’d read in the living room in the morning, then hit her favorite spot for lunch (before she’d left, it had been an upscale food court for spicy salmon poke bowls) then finishing up with some shopping. I knew I’d have to fill the day up with something distracting so I wouldn’t stay at home, mooning over the fact that my partner in crime could no longer join me for Saturday jaunts. Going to the movies seemed to fit the bill. 

And I have to say, this plan has been pretty successful. I might not always love the movie I see, but I love the act of going to the theater and it’s a perfect way to kill the 2-3 hours I would have normally spent with my daughter. Of course, my daughter also liked to go see movies with me, so there was that little pang of nostalgia when I took a seat by myself, but it still accomplished what it needed to. 

Inevitably, I’d still have at least an hour of free time after the movie ended before I needed to be home to cook dinner or meet my husband for a night out, so this was the perfect time for some Roaming Reading. The weather was still nice (if a bit windy), so I decided to try out some reading on a nice patio. Corkscrew is an upscale (i.e. overpriced) wine bar not far from my house with fantastic staff, a good atmosphere, and a nice outdoor area. 

I walk in the door at around 4 pm and it’s my worst nightmare: seeing someone I know who I’m not expecting to see. I’m not sure why this always throws me for such a loop, but when it happens, my first instinct is always to hide. Or leave before they can see me. I think it’s just because I usually have a plan when I go somewhere and when I see someone I know, I fear they will disrupt my plan. Take this situation for example. I had planned to come in and read by myself and now I am face to face with Brad, a former client who I’ve actually sat down to have drinks with several times. Brad is also alone, which just adds to the uncertainty of the etiquette here. Am I supposed to sit down with him at the bar? Pretend like I’m meeting someone and hope he doesn’t notice that no one shows up to join me? Fake a heart attack? 

I do none of the above. Instead, I chit chat with him for a few minutes then tell him I’m going to go check out the patio. I tell him to let me know if he wants to meet up again for drinks sometime and then I’m free. Crisis averted! I think. Who knows, he could still have thought I was being rude by not joining him or he could be pitying me since I’m clearly being met by no one and my only companion is my book. Oh well. As one of my favorite sayings goes: What other people think of us is none of our business. 

After getting my glass of prosecco and a glass of water, I try to navigate my way through a door and a gate with both my hands full and a book shoved in my armpit. I make it with a little assistance from someone else on the patio and take a seat on a lovely little padded chair. It doesn’t take me long to realize that the wind is going to be a problem, but I still give it the ol’ college try.

In our book, Matthew the vampire has taken Diana the witch to a yoga class in an old mansion (that she later finds out he owns). The yoga class is exclusively for witches, vampires, and daemons. I wonder if Omaha has a yoga class like this because I’d definitely check it out. The only exclusive yoga classes I’ve found here are for those who want to pay too much to look clumsy and inflexible in front of a group of people. Oh, and goat yoga. I totally want to try goat yoga, but it still doesn’t sound as intriguing as vampire yoga. Though I guess there’s no chance the goat is going to try to suck your blood so that might be a plus?

Matthew is clearly diggin’ Diana’s chili here, to use an expression popularized by an old college boyfriend of mine. I still use this saying even though I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone else say it in my life. I also still use the phrase “starvin’ like Marvin’s mother”, a saying from a different old college boyfriend that I am 99% sure he made up. Anyway. We know Mathew is smitten because after the yoga class, he says this to one of his buddies:

Her scent is like an electrical storm about to break, or summer lightning. There are times I can see it, too. Diana shimmers when she’s angry or lost in her work.

Huh. Imagine some hot, mysterious dude saying your scent was like summer lightning. The only time I’ve ever had a guy comment on my scent was when a truly awful boyfriend told me I stank and needed to switch deodorants. What I really needed to do was switch boyfriends, which I did, and lo and behold I never stank again. Let that be a lesson to you all. 

So what does a poor besotted vampire do when he wants to forget that his loins are aching for a forbidden witch? Why, go deer stalking, of course! How silly of you to ask! And while Matthew is stalking his deer (in Scotland, no less), I finally give up on reading outside as I keep losing my place when the wind blows my book shut and I’ve nearly eaten a chunk of my own hair. I make my way back inside and look around for a seat. Brad the ex-client is gone and the only one sitting at the bar is a slight, dark-haired girl who is making her way through a bottle of red wine. I have to hand it to her, she really lives by the motto ‘What people think of you is none of your business.’ I’m not saying I’ve never finished a bottle of wine by myself before, but I don’t believe I’ve ever done so at the bar with the evidence sitting right in front of me. You go, girl! 

I choose a seat near the back at a high top table and read for a little bit longer but I’m windblown and scatterbrained and nothing I’m reading is really sticking so I decide to call it.